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How the Shamans were born

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How the Shamans were born Empty How the Shamans were born

Post  Necrophagos Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:15 am

The Blizzard programmer responsable for the World of Warcraft characters is caught by his son when cheating on his wife. Threatening to reveal all to his Mum, the boy forces his Dad to buy him a new PC and a WoW subscription. But he doesn't stop there....

Son: "If you don't want Mum to know you were cheating on her, I want my own class!"
Dad: "Okay...well....uhm...okay. You will get the Shaman. he can melee fight, use shields, two-handed weapons, wear leather gear and..."
Son: "Hmm, leather? I want something really good....I want mail !!"
Dad: "Well okay, you can wear mail too. Also you can use totems."
Son: "What can these totems do?"
Dad: "Well, they do damage or heal, augment your armor.... And that goes for the whole group."
Son: "And how many of those do I have?"
Dad: "You have 20 different ones, but only one at the same time."
Son: "Two"
Dad: "No."
Son: "Three."
Dad: "No...sod off now..."
Son: "Four."
Dad: "I'm going to smack you!!!!"
Son: "MUM !!!!!"
Dad: "Okay, okay....four is fine.....Cookie?"
Son: "But I also want to do magic and casting..."
Dad: "Boy, you already have 4 totems and a two-handed weapon..."
Son: "MU..."
Dad: "...and you can cast, I was going to say... No problem...1,5 second casts."
Son: "Instant !!"
Dad: "No!"
Son: "Yes...INSTANT !!!"
Dad: "...Very well....instant.."
Son: "Hm....and what can other classes do?"
Dad: "The others? Well, they can fight, cast, heal...."
Son: "Ooh, I want to heal too!"
Dad: "Well, the other classes can't do all these things at once, only..."
Son: " I....WANT....TO....HEAL!!!"
Dad: "Okay, you can heal....sigh"
Son: "Thank you, Daddy!"
Dad: "Now go back and watch Power Rangers, please."
Son: "But what if someone runs away from me?"
Dad: "Hmm...yes...here, Frostshock, that will slow them down. And now go!"
Son: "How long does Frostshock last?"
Dad: "Three seconds"
Son: "And what is the cooldown?"
Dad: "Six seconds"
Son: "And in between?"
Dad: "Well, you need to give your oponent a chance too."
Son: "Mumm....."
Dad: "All right, all right...it will last six seconds"
Son: "And what if I forget to click?"
Dad: "Okay!!! It lasts twelve seconds..."
Son: "But I not only want them to be slowed down, I want to be faster too."
Dad: "Here....Ghostwolf. That will turn you into a wolf, that will be faster."
Son: "Hm..."
Dad: "Hm, what?"
Son: "And when there are more than one that I want to slow down?"
Dad: "Here...Earthbind Totem, and now beat it!!"
Son: "And what if someone hits me?"
Dad: "You hit back of course, or cast a spell, or..."
Son: "I want him to get hurt when he hits me!"
Dad: "Wait a second...this is stupid...He has to get hurt when you hit him AND when he hits you???"
Son: "Yup"
Dad: "Okay, Lightning Shield...now let me be!"
Son: "And when he shoots at me with bow and arrow?"
Dad: "Then it will work also, when he shoots at you. And now let me be, PLEASE...."
Son: "And if someone casts a spell on me?"
Dad: "But you can already melee, cast, heal..."
Son: "I just want something that will dispell magic"
Dad: "I was just working on the totems...why don't you use a Grounding Totem...that will absorb spells..."
Son: "And when the other dude heals himself?"
Dad: "Well....then I guess he heals himself, innit?"
Son: "But I want to stop him from doing that!!!"
Dad: "Earthshock, instant...Anything else?"
Son: "And what when my enemy has buffs? I want buffs too!"
Dad: "Here...Windfury...that should suffice.."
Son: "But I also want that my enemy gets de-buffed..."
Dad: "But you can buff yourself, heal, cast, interupt casting, use two-handers..."
Son: "I want it, I want it!!!!"
Dad: "Purge.....yeah Purge is fine....it should have gone to the Warlock class, but...oh well.."
Son: "And what if someone poisons me?"
Dad: "Use your anti-venom totem..."
Son: "No....I want a spell...."
Dad: "Okay......an anti-venom spell it is...."
Son: "And when I play together with someone?"
Dad: "You don't need to play with someone...there's no class that can do anything that you can't do already..."
Son: "I want to be able to resurrect people...."
Dad: "Okay...done..."
Son: "But what if I die???"
Dad: "Well, then somebody else must...."
Son: "I want to do it myself..."
Dad: "But you can't....You are dead!!!"
Dad: "Okay...be still!!! You can Reincarnate"
Son: "I want something more..."
Dad: "Underwater breathing is still available..."
Son: "Nice! But I'm still missing something...."
Dad: "For God's sake!!!! You can use two-handers, wear mail, shields, cast, interrupt casting, heal, instant spellcast, you have totems, can de-buff enemies, buff yourself, have animal shape, can slow down others, breathe underwater, ressurect....even yourself. What in Heaven's name do you want more???
Hold sermons and walk on water????"

Son:"Hmmmmmm......Holding sermons maybe not......"

Posts : 38
Join date : 2008-10-20
Age : 54
Location : Arnhem, The Netherlands

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